The following is a series of writings I’ve done from the summer of 2006 until present. I kept track of exactly where I was, the date and time and what I was drinking/eating when I wrote each thing. For these purposes, I’m only going to put some of the poems I wrote rather than my editorials. Those are too long for this type of foolishness. I wrote this mostly to entertain myself, although one in particular, “Angel” has a good deal of significance. Also, these will not be in chronological order.
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11/25/09 8:03 PM PF Changs Allen, TX Drink: Hot sake
Nudity
Nudity is rudity. . .
Egg Salad (take 1)
I see you slather that putrid junk. I think I’d rather eat the ass of a skunk
To combine that shit into one bowl is an enormous sing that destroys my soul
The sound that it makes when you stir the goop reminds me of Rosanne taking a poop
Don’t get too close, you should be cautious. The smell alone will make you nauseous.
I’d really rather eat a great, big turd than a salad made mostly from the egg of a bird.
The mayonnaise binder makes me gag, and the yolks themselves make my dick sag.
When it’s nearby, everyone should leave. Don’t give it a try or you’ll surely heave. (I don’t think I finished this)
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6-5-14 Barn Light McKinney, TX Ketel 1 & soda w/ lime and water 7:14 PM
Icicles
Falling icicles aren’t very nicicles.
8/17/06 Holiday Inn Corstorphine Edinburgh, Scotland Drinking Scotch (didn’t write which one)
Ode to Guinness
Light brown cascading down; replaced by black
Throw one back
The thin, soft layer floats atop. The tar black below screams, “Drink! Don’t stop!”
“Comedick ode to Sex”
Put it in, take it out
Give a grin, then a shout
Feelin’ good, there’s no doubt
Use your wood, build your clout
If it’s thin, that’s okay, put it in anyway!
If it’s in, then she’ll shout, put it in, take it out.
“Angel”
You’re sounding resounding, but your meaning echoes meekly.
Confounding, expounding still the words you utter weakly.
You try just to fly; must you believe you are diving?
I cry and you sigh, in your world, it’s all just fine.
Abuse me, misuse me, and tempt fate with deceit.
Peruse me, dare you choose me, I will be your defeat.
The ties they surprise me, how could they hold so fast?
Unwinding the binding, now I am free at last.
My parting upstarting yet some have grown obscure.
Thoughts darting, departing, a new life I will procure.
Come test me, arrest me, you failed miserably in the end.
You pressed me, I jest thee. You’ve blown the distance in the wind.
I’ve won now. You’re done now. As I wrote this line, I grinned.
9/30/06 Texas Embassy Cantina London, England 9:54 PM. Drink: Lonestar beer
The Classroom
The classroom is an place where the teacher makes declarations
to students with no reparations
who only want recreations.
12/15/06 11:15 PM Home, Plano, TX Pilsner Urquell
The Haircut
This isn’t safe, you shouldn’t be working.
Some coffee or drugs must cause all the jerking.
What accuracy do you have if your hands are all shaking?
Perhaps this is a dream and soon I’ll be waking.
Please mind the scissors right next to my ear,
for if it comes off, how will I hear?
I can’t run away. I’ve already committed.
The tension is high, and my teeth, they are gritted.
Please try not to leave, in my head, big bald patches.
I’d like a hairstyle that uniformly matches.
Somehow you’ve done it! My head is still spherical!
No incidents or injuries; this must be a miracle!
1/2/07 1:18 AM Home, Plano, TX Water w/ lemon
A Job
A job gives you money.
It helps you rake in bucks.
At times it can be funny,
while other times, it sucks.
Reflections on Clothes
Clothes are articles that hide our particles.
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